When One of our Cats Dies….

When my cat Andie died last December 13 2017. I felt that my heart was life and heart were completely broken. I couldn’t understand how my life was going to be worth living without her. She was so kind and loving to me, all the time, even when I gave her intramuscular shots and oral medications; she never run away from me, she loved me so  and losing her has been very painful….NO…extremely painful to me. It is an unimaginable pain missing her everyday. There was a special connection between Andie and me, and yes, that connection will never die.

Through out my 32 years of having cats in my life I have lost several through old age, some sudden acute disease and they all have been loved and rescued cats. They all leave a hole in my heart when they die.
Anyways, I read this beautiful post of Milly Schmidt and decided not to be ashamed of showing my own pain and my vulnerability to suffer like every one else in this world and share some of my own grieve with you by reblogging her post.
When One of our Cats Dies.... 1

When my cat died on March 20th, I stopped blogging entirely. The only reason you’ll see I posted blogs on that particular date (and after) is because I always schedule my blogs about 1-2 weeks ahead.

I would like to let you all know that I have been reading every single comment left on this blog – even if I never replied. Your comments have been little sparks of light in the darkness. Thank you too, for all the lovely, heartfelt emails and for being so understanding and sharing in my grief when I posted about losing Sven last month.

I’m not embarrassed to admit, that I, the ever optimistic happy go-lucky crazy cat lady, finally reached the end of her tether after my pet died. And we should not be ashamed of feeling sad. If we do, we help perpetuate the stigma of depression that stops people reaching out for help.

It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to let others know that you’re not coping well.

For me, I think the problem was, no matter how lousy I was feeling, my dog and cat would always be there for me, so to lose one of my constant companions has been absolutely devastating. I have never needed Sven more than I need him now, yet he’s lost to me forever.

I usually feel pretty happy most of the time, but when Sven died, any sparks of happiness vanished along with him. It took a few weeks before I could look at a sunrise and feel that rush of appreciation and contentment I used to feel. But even then, I knew that something was still not right.

I think I recognized I was getting to a point where I couldn’t handle the grief any longer. I needed some cats around to force me to laugh. I mean… how can you not laugh when you see a face like this??

Via The Magic of Pets — The Cat’s Write

9 thoughts on “When One of our Cats Dies….

  1. lindasschaub April 17, 2018 at 12:57 am

    I know how you feel – I live alone, no relatives, just me and I had a canary. I work from home so that little bird was the love of my life, my little beacon here while I worked. He had a stroke on 12/02/16 and I had to have him euthanized. If I was to read this post I wrote, I would tear up. It has been very difficult and I will not get another pet because it is way too painful. My sympathies in the loss of your pet – I know how you feel. https://lindaschaubblog.net/2016/12/04/forty-feathered-friends-at-the-footbridge/

    • He looked adorable and sweet. I am so sorry you had to go through the pain of letting him go, linda. So, you don´t want another pet? I know it is very painful but I just can’t stop myself from taking care of them.
      Linda, (is it ok I call you Linda?), I have backyard chickens, hens and roosters, and there is one hen that I named her “Fina” (I usually don’t name the chickens) because she is so sweet, lets me hold her and pet her. She loves to sit on my shoulder. She is so unique and special, very different from the rest of the hens.

      • lindasschaub April 17, 2018 at 11:22 pm

        Thanks Martha (and yes, please call me Linda) … he did not look like a canary and he had a mop top of feathers on the top of his head that made him look like one of the Beatles. I can’t get another pet … I work from home and I have no family, so he was my entire family. And a companion pet for me so his loss was devasting to me. I actually had a white canary before him and he passed away suddenly the same year as my mom. It was just before Christmas of 2010 and I was very upset to think of being alone for the first time ever … my neighbor insisted I get another canary though I said “no more pets – too much heartache” … I did succumb and get my little Buddy, but so often I remember him the last two days and taking him to the vet … I just can’t do it again. I don’t think I am strong enough to do it.

        I have heard about how chickens are very affectionate before and have seen videos of chickens going to the bus stop to meet “their human” at the end of the school day. Those stories do touch my heart.

        I follow a couple of women here who live in rural settings and both have chickens … one has a few for eggs for the family only and the other one, Kim, has enough chickens that she has a roadside stand. Her blog posts are often about her chickens and her farm life and are enjoyable. I am going to send along this link she wrote about last month. Unfortunately Kim has been ill and did not post for nearly an hour after this post. I like the pictures in her blog … they are filled with pictures of food, around the home/outside, her cat … and always the chickens. Truly a satisfying life. https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/51131225/posts/8281

        • Losing a pet is truly a heartache. Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves enough not to suffer so much, and each one of us know how much pain we can endure and you know yours.
          I visited the link you gave me about Kim´s blog and it is very interesting. I noticed several chickens I have myself.

          • lindasschaub April 18, 2018 at 3:05 am

            That’s right – I was so heartbroken after Sugar died, that I said no more pets, but my neighbor encouraged me. I actually railed at her after Buddy died. But I can’t do it again. I worried about him incessantly – every time we had bad weather, no matter the season, I worried he’d be too cold if we lost power and our heat, or too warm if we lost power and had no A/C. I had emergency items for it – battery operated warming blankets and battery-operated fans and in the end, a stroke was nothing I could have prepared for. I will enjoy other people’s pets instead.

            That is a cute site that Kim has … she was missing for a month and then she wrote she had had some health issues. Her chicken shots are very interesting – she doesn’t name them individually though one’s day is Flopsy, I do recall that.

  2. Mish April 17, 2018 at 5:29 pm

    My pets for me are family, I adore them and they do not judge me. When a dear fur/feathered-angel dies, I feel devastated and a lot of people do not understand the loss but I am glad more people do understand. It is most crushing to lose a beloved companion.

    • Indeed. I feel sorry for the pets you have lost, Mish. Pain and happiness are both attached to a coin that we all have to spin until the day we die 💖💜💗💔💙💚

  3. Cheche Winnie May 16, 2018 at 6:58 am

    Very sad, it normally feels like an important organ of your body has been brutally chopped off. It gets better with time

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