Coping with Heartbreaking Grief and Guilt during the 2018 Holidays

Coping Grief Holidays

COPING WITH GRIEF IN THESE HOLIDAYS

Coping with grief these holidays can be very rough. When you lose somebody, either to death or a breakup, it can be so darn difficult it can break your heart.

But there is hope, there are things that you can do to help yourself to cope with the pain.

Take in consideration that no matter how you lost that person (death or breakup) you have to go through a process of mourning.

In these times missing that especial person can be extremely difficult.

Do not despair though, coping with grief and mourning can be less painful these holidays following some advice, so you don’t feel so lonely and devastated.

Coping Holidays

  • Accept that these holidays are going to be different from others and hard.

  • Come up with a new tradition in memory of your loved one.

  • Ask your relatives and friends for help and companionship. Don’t spend time alone.

  • Don’t expect everyone to be extremely sympathetic with your grief. They are not grieving and only people very close to you will hug your heart with their sincere love and understanding.

  • Put out a ‘memory Christmas stocking’.

  • Light a beautiful candle in your home in memory of the person you have lost.

  • Make a donation to a charity that was important to your loved one in his/her memory.

  • Consult a therapist or counselor for extra advice and support. The holidays are especially tough, so this may be the time to talk to someone.

  • Make a memorial ornament, wreath, or other decoration in honor of your loved one.

  • Visit your loved one’s grave site and leave a present. Something you know he or she would have loved to get in Christmas.

  • Do not do anything that is going to cause you stress or anxiety. You have enough with your grieving.

  • Journal when you are having an especially bad day.

  • Skip holiday events if you are in holiday overload.

  • Don’t feel guilty.

Coping Grief Holidays

  • Don’t get trapped.  When you go to holiday events, drive yourself so you can leave if it gets to be too much.

  • Pull out old photo albums and spend some time on the holiday looking at photos.

  • Make a dish that your loved one used to make. Don’t get discouraged if you try to make their dish and you fail.  We’ve all been there (or, at least I’ve been there!).

  • Leave an empty seat at the holiday table in memory of your loved one.

  • If leaving an empty seat is too depressing, invite someone who doesn’t have any family to spend the holiday with.

  • Don’t send holiday cards this year if it is too sad or overwhelming.

  • Put out a photo table with photos of your loved one at holiday celebrations in the past.

  • Go to a grief group for extra support.

  • Remember that crying is okay.

Coping with Heartbreaking Grief and Guilt during the 2018 Holidays 1

  • Coping gets a bit easier when volunteering in your loved one’s memory.

  • Ignore people who want to tell you what you “should” do for the holiday.  Listen to yourself, trust yourself.

  • Watch the food.  Food can make us feel better in the short term. Don’t deprive yourself, but be careful that you don’t let food become your holiday comfort.

  • Watch the booze.  Alcohol can become a dangerous “friend” when we are grieving.

  • Say yes to help.  There will be people who want to help and may offer their support.  Take them up on their offers.

  • Ask for help.   This can be super-hard if it isn’t your style, but it is important.  Asking others to help with cooking, shopping, or decorating can be a big relief.

  • Write a journal.

  • Practice self-care: hair, clothing, hygiene.

  • Support kids by doing a memorial grief activity together.

  • Try to enjoy yourself. The holidays will be tough, but there will also be love and joy.

  •  Have in mind that it’s okay to be happy – this doesn’t diminish how much you love and miss the person who isn’t there this holiday.

[wpedon id=”2447″ align=”center”]
SUBSCRIBE TO DR MARTHA

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

[the_ad_placement id=”into-the-content”]

How To Cope with Anger While You are Grieving

How To Cope with Anger While You are Grieving 2

Losing a loved one can be one of the most painful and stressful events in your life, and it might cause severe emotional crisis that could develop into different physical symptoms or diseases:

  • Anger
  • Despair
  • Guilt
  • High blood pressure
  • Headaches
  • Bone aches
  • Worsening of arthritis symptoms.
  • Gastritis or worsening of symptoms.
  • And more….

This emotional maelstrom can affect behaviour and judgement. Many patients report to me stomach pain, eating habit changes: loss or gain of appetite, intestinal upsets, sleep disturbances and loss of energy. Of all life’s stresses, mourning can seriously test your natural defense systems. Existing illnesses may worsen or new conditions may appear.

In stressful and sad times you don’t need people around you who do not support you. You need to surround yourself with loving human beings who actually care about you. Go out with them, trust them if they have proven to you that they are loyal and faithful.

Having and caring for pets like dogs, cats, birds, is another way to find comfort. I especially love cats, but others prefer dogs or birds. Some people don’t like animals and would rather care for plants. Therefore, get into planting, gardening, farming and grafting. Some of my patients have expressed their liking towards social activities like volunteering, helping others, “not being at home where there are so many memories” — they say. It is fine, but remember,  sooner or later you have to face reality and stay at home. So do the volunteering for another reason such as helping others and just “not” to be at home.

How To Cope with Anger While You are Grieving 3

Remember: After the storm, calm is restored

If you want to know more do not forget to like  👍  this post and subscribe for free — Dr. Martha A. Castro, MD